Are you a 'real' artist? Take my test and find out!
I can't tell you how often I see people putting themselves down for things that are perfectly normal.
I see this most often in my Art Tribe community. We have a very active community where we can ask each other anything, but recently I've seen a lot of the same type of question.
Someone will say some version of: "yesterday X happened and I now feel rubbish about myself."
And yet the event they are describing is something that happens to me all the time; something I consider to be normal. This morning, as I read another of these posts, the idea for this email came to me.
I'm calling it "You know you're an artist if...."
So, you know you're an artist if:
1. You have bad days in the studio and can't remember how you ever made anything worthwhile.
Sometimes I can spend 6 hours painting and make everything worse than when I left it. (This often happens when I am recording myself for teaching purposes, so I wind up with a video that would help no-one!)
Making a mess regularly is a sign that you are doing it right ... if you always make beauty, you're not pushing yourself in new directions, or learning new things. And pushing in new directions is what art is all about.
2. You get bored easily and keep coming up with new ideas to spice things up
This follows on from #1. If you get bored easily, you're an artist. But those around us can make us feel wrong for constantly changing our minds, or shifting in new directions. If your spouse, or mum, or sibling often says "why can't you just settle on what you want?" you can answer "because I'm an artist. Leave me alone."
3. You regularly do things and then wish you hadn't
Part and parcel of being an artist is that we feel an urge to explore and to communicate. This can lead us into some scary situations. We want to get our work out there for example, so we apply for a gallery show and then panic when we're accepted (I'm not ready, Go away!) Or we feel the need for new inspiration, we we book an art retreat and then wish we could stay home in our pjs watching Friends re-runs.
But did you know that John Lennon used to throw up before he went on stage? His stage fright never lessened and right up to his death he remained terrified of performing live. John Lennon!!
So if you're in that panicky stage, just know it's normal and it's good and it's a sign that you're doing it right. Think of John Lennon walking out onto the stage at Shea Stadium and just do it anyway :)
4. You feel like you’re an imposter in a world where everyone else knows what they’re doing
Spoiler alert: those other folks have no idea either. They're winging it too and they're feeling just like you. I don't care how famous they are, or how much success they've had - they also have that little voice whispering "just wait until everyone finds out that you're a fraud."
In fact, I would argue that we are all imposters. We are all not really qualified to be doing what we're doing. Who am I to be sitting here telling you what to think? I'm just a person with my own issues and foibles and fears. But I'm here doing it because I think sometimes I can be of help, and it's worth trying.
I think almost all artists feel the same way. I bet Paul McCartney has had plenty of doubts. And I bet Charlotte Bronte had doubts. I bet even Beyonce has days when she looks in the mirror and sees a fraud looking back at her.
In fact, if you don't feel like an imposter, I think you're doing it wrong. You're doing things that come too easily and that feel safe. The moment you don't feel like a fraud, that's the time to make some changes.
5. You are told you "overreact" a lot.
If you're an artist, you may find you're more sensitive than other people. You might cry at soppy TV adverts (especially when they involve a puppy!). You might get upset about things that don't bother anyone else around you. Also, you might find yourself getting excited about things that others simply walk past.
Sometimes I think artists elicit more eye rolls than almost any other type of person!
Depending on your friends and family, you might be made to feel 'wrong' for any or all of these things I've listed. You might be told you are "too sensitive" or "too changeable." Or you might make yourself feel wrong for a bad studio day, or for being scared about that upcoming exhibition.
I want to ask you to flip all that on its head. I want you to find at least one person to accept and believe in you just as you are. If that's your friend or your partner, I'm so happy for you. But it's even better if it's you.
If you can become the person who accepts yourself as a flawed and yet perfect human and as a born artist, you can ride out any of the uncomfortable feelings that come with doing this thing we call art. Not only that, but you can become your own cheerleader and your own biggest supporter.
This is something I'm still working on, but I'm a lot further along than I used to be. A few years ago, my self doubt and lack of confidence kept me frozen. So if you struggle with any of this, look up and you'll see more of us ahead of you on the path. I'm about halfway up waving at you. And ahead of me there's John Lennon and Beyonce waving too, and can you see Charlotte Bronte sitting on that rock?
If they can do this, so can you. All you have to do is be accept yourself just as you are, including the fears and the doubts, and just keep on moving forward. And I promise, the view keeps getting better.