“Never delude yourself into believing that you require someone else’s blessing (or even their comprehension) in order to make your own creative work”—Elizabeth Gilbert

One of the members of my art community shared this quote the other day and it really struck home for me. I used to crave the blessing of others … even those people who didn’t understand what I was trying to do. And I know many of you do too.

But it is a delusion to think that someone else can give you permission. It is a delusion to think the people around you should understand (or care about) what you are trying to do.

If you do have a supportive spouse or understanding friends then you are truly blessed, but many artists have neither. My mum has been bemused by my art ever since I stopped painting realistically. One friend just shakes his head. Others make supportive noises but never say “Ooh I love that!” (because I know they don’t!)

But even after I got past looking for approval from friends, I continued to look for approval from other artists.

Did X famous artist like my Instagram post? Ecstatic!

Did she/he ignore it? Crushed!

Was I accepted for an exhibition? Delighted!

Was my work rejected for a show? Depressed and angry!

Did my friend love my painting? All the good feels!

Did he just look and then change the subject? OMG, it must be awful!

I have no idea why we do this, but we do it. We place enormous importance on what other people think of our art, and almost none on our own discernment.

But in reality, it needs to be the other way round.

First, it needs to be that way for you to be happy. We all know external validation doesn’t work for long. Your souse could say they liked 4 paintings in a row, but if they don’t like the next two, you are back to feeling insecure. So being dependent on the reactions of others means that you are on a constant emotional roller-coaster.

It also needs to be that way because it’s the only way to make good work. If we constantly react to the opinions or reactions of other people, we can never settle into exploring what WE want to say, what WE think matters, what floats OUR boat.

And here’s what I’ve learned in recent years – the more we respond to our own preferences, the more our work appeals to others. That sounds counter-intuitive but it’s true. Because you start making work that ONLY you could make and that means no-one has seen anything quite like it before.

Because, we all crave something new and exciting in our lives, we are drawn to art like this. (Think about the last time you were draw to an artwork and you will realise it was because the piece was unique in some way.)

Now, you might be thinking that you couldn’t make anything exciting and unique – but I know you can. I know it because there is only one you – you are the only person who can show us the world from your viewpoint – the ONLY ONE! If you don’t do it, it will never be done.

I also know it because every year I teach a free online workshop for artists from around the world and I see them blossom and start to make truly exciting work. (I’m teaching that course again in June, so please do join us – it’s completely free and it’s all recorded so that you can participate no matter what your time zone. You can sign up here).

If you still have doubts, check out this video. All the artwork here was made by students of my longer course. Many of them had never painted before, others were returning after years away. I think it’s pretty amazing.

So stop deluding yourself. Stop thinking that you need permission or approval. Instead focus on what YOU want to make. I promise you’ll feel better … and I promise you’ll make better art.

PS: Don’t forget to join me for this year’s free course. It will rock your world!