Are you like this too?

I've been thinking a lot about change this week. We're often told that we humans don't like change, but that's not true for me. Change is something I crave.

I've always felt it deeply unfair that I can't live lots of different lives instead of just this one. I'd like to live here in the beautiful Yorkshire Dales, but also on the Upper West Side of Manhattan and by the sea in southern England and in a Tuscan farmhouse and in a motor home driving from place to place. I don't mean to go on holiday - I like a home base these days - no, I mean to have all those lives happening at the same time and be able to experience them all. 

(Since that isn't actually possible, I visit real estate websites around the world and imagine those simultaneous lives. Google Streetview even means I can check out where I'd go shopping and eat out and take Riley for a walk and meet friends!)

Unfortunately, the law of physics and time mean this will have to remain a weird internet hobby, but I still crave change in my daily life.

I don't desire holiday travel as much as I used to, but I've never settled on a hairstyle that I like, and I'm forever redecorating rooms or replanting flower beds or up-cycling furniture. Some people see this as nuts - why not do something once and then enjoy it? I can see their point, but staying the same just isn't an option for me.

This constant drive for something new is also present in my artwork. I can't settle on one thing and do it forever. In fact, just as one thing starts to pick up an audience and generate reliable sales, I find myself moving on to something new.

I'm wondering if this is part of being an artist? I do think we're born as artists, whether or not we ever fulfil that role. We're born with this creative pull - this desire to leave our mark somehow - and maybe you can't have that without also having the other stuff that comes with it.

And I do think art is about always moving forward. I think as artists we are meant to change things ... we're meant to develop ideas and express feelings and lead transformation. (It may only be the transformation of a moment in time, but that's still a transformation). I think we light the way for others by showing what's possible if you lead a creative life filled with curiosity and wonder. 

And if I'm right, then of course we will also be restless souls in other ways. Of course we will constantly be generating ideas and thinking about how things could be better.

And that made me think of you. If you're like me, you're surrounded by people who don't think the way you do. They don't see the possibilities, or they can't see the value in pursuing those possibilities. They may not value imagination. They may tease you for your obsessions, your need to constantly try new things, or the way you often change your mind 15 times before you settle on something. (They can't see all 15 possibilities which is why they find it easier to make decisions!)

It took me a long time to realise that it's OK to be a bit weird. In fact, it's more than OK - it's something to be proud of. So yes, I want to constantly move on and do something different. And yes I understand that makes me a little different to most of the people around me. And no, I will not change :)