Great Expectations

Yesterday I wrote this:

This is exactly like life, isn't it? If you try to impose your will, it's a constant struggle. Things never go exactly as you would like and so you feel yourself in constant opposition. Opposition to things that can't be anything other than what they are. Your husband can't remember your anniversary if he's rubbish at dates. Your boss can't be more organized if she's not. Your kid can't remember to keep her bedroom tidy - it's just not in her nature! But you think things should be different, so you just keep banging your head against that wall and wondering why it hurts so much.Letting go of expectations is so much easier. Easier for you and easier for the wall (a.k.a. husband, boss, kid!)

I was thinking about that some more last night. There are people I have expectations of, and my expectations seem perfectly reasonable. I'm not asking them to do amazing things - just the usual stuff that they should do - that anyone should do. So why should I let go of those expectations? Why should I be the one to lower my standards? Why shouldn't those people raise theirs?The truth is that I don't have to. I can keep on expecting, and keep on justifying it to myself. But as a result, I will also keep on being miserable and do I want that?And is it possible that sometimes I don't meet other peoples' expectations? Is it possible they want things from me that I can't deliver? Is it possible that sometimes they have expectations I don't even know about?The thing about expectations is this: they seem reasonable to us because they are ours. But they are born out of our narrow view of the world. Out of our particular set of experiences and beliefs and hurts and joys and no-one else can be expected to understand all of them all of the time. Because they haven't shared all the same experiences, hurts and joys.That's why it's so pointless to keep imposing our view of how things should be - in art and in life. It's such a narrow limited view and it doesn't allow for all the other infinite possibilities.If we can unclench our fists, relax all our muscles, breathe deeply, and look at people and things as if for the first time, we might be surprised at what we see."Footsteps." 12x12 mixed media on panel Update: CVP is about to launch again in May 2019. The best news is that you can try it for free by taking a free workshop. There are a lot of people who give away free stuff in order to sell something bigger but this is different - you really do get tons of stuff for free whether or not you ever take the course. The free workshop is coming up soon (starts April 26th 2019) so sign up HERE to take advantage of free learning.