I had a breakthrough. And you can too

Is there something you really want in your art? A direction you're driving towards?

Most of us have ideas of how we would like our art to be - we look yearningly at the work of others or carefully analyse their every move. We read books or watch Youtube videos or post questions in Facebook groups like "How do I get more space in my work?" or "how do I start to abstract my landscapes?"

For me the question has been "how do I get more raw expression into my work?"

Funnily enough, these questions often reflect questions we have in our life. If you want to loosen up in your art, perhaps you also wish you could loosen up in life? If you want to add more space to your work, perhaps you lack space in your life?

For me the desire for more raw expression exactly mirrors life. I've done a lot of personal development work over the last few years and I've come to understand just how much of me has been bottled up and stifled.

I spent most of my life believing I was shy - now I know that's not the case. I just had a series of life experiences that taught me to hide myself. I knew I wasn't going to say or do the "right" thing, so I hid myself in corners and kept myself small. 

Now I get it. I see why the real me didn't fit in and I'm OK with it - in fact I'm proud of not fitting in! And hey presto - I'm not shy anymore :)

So recently, my challenge has been how to get more of the 'real me' into my artwork. Don't get me wrong - it has always been expressive and I love the things I've created to date - but I want it to be even stronger, even more real, even more powerful.

I want to express all of me - the good, the bad and the ugly. I want larger-than-life paintings that people either love or hate. 

It's a huge goal and one I've wrestled with for a while - but I think I've found the answer and I want to share it with you. It is both simple and profound.

If I want raw, unfiltered, expressive paintings, I need to work in a raw, unfiltered, expressive way.

Now you're probably saying "Duh! That's obvious bozo. Next, can you tell us the answer to 2+2." (lol)

But maybe it's not so obvious. Try translating that into your own personal challenge. For example, if you want more space in your work, you need to actually put it there. 

If you want to abstract your landscapes a bit more, you need to start doing it!

If it's so easy, why don't we do it?

Because we don't know how. We have no idea how to achieve the things we want, so we avoid getting started, or we faff around the edges, coming close to what we want before backing off again.

In my case, I had been making a few raw and expressive marks in the context of some quite beautiful paintings. Yes there have been a wild brush mark here and there but there was also nice colour balance and a pleasing composition. If things got too raw or if anything looked a little ugly, I covered it over.

Just like in real life.

But now things feel different. Now I'm ready to go all in - hence my realisation that if I want to make raw expressive paintings, I need to start truly working in a raw and expressive way. DUH! And that means I won't know what I'm doing. It means my studio will be filed with things that disappoint in some way. It means I will need to practice making ugly things until I find just the right balance of raw expression and sophisticated decision-making.

I've chosen to work on paper at first and I'm using fairly cheap stuff. This helps me not to get too precious - I know I won't be selling this work so I'm free to just go for it. 

At the moment I'm using paint, pencil and neocolours/oil pastels. Next I'm toying with trying ink and soft pastels and lots of charcoal. I'd like to bring a lot more abstract drawing into the mix. I'd like to also think about other ways to make marks to add energy and excitement. 

Can you translate this idea to your own ambitions for your work? What do you have to be willing to do (or not do) in order to bridge the gap between where you are now and where you want to be?

Do you need larger brushes? Do you need to use different tools or experiment with different media? Do you need to reverse habits (for example leaving large spaces if you are used to filling every inch of the canvas - or simply painting over two thirds of what you've done?)

You don't have to show anyone what you make - this can just be for you. If you need to, you can even keep making your regular work while setting aside a little time for R&D. 

But whatever you want to achieve, there's only one way to do it and that's to get started.