I find that when it comes to making big life decisions, the best answers come from deep within. I learned long ago that when in doubt, I should ask “what advice would the wisest, best, most generous version of myself give in this situation?” That self always knows what to do.And yet confidence has never been my strong point. I doubt myself constantly. That trait emerged this week when I had a breakthrough with one of my paintings.This is a large panel (2 feet x 2 feet square) and I had been lost with it for a few weeks. It sat in my studio looking like this and waiting for something to happen.Then the other evening, I suddenly felt what to do. I needed to just go in with abandon and do whatever felt good. After a few hours, I had a painting that I felt really excited about.On the CVP course, Nick tells us to follow the “yeses” – those times when you do something and feel a genuine joy deep inside – and to avoid the “nos” – those times when you feel yourself getting tight and you’re maybe not enjoying yourself as much as you could.This painting was all yeses. It was filled with the joy of creating and when I looked at it, I saw myself – the real me. The one no-one else ever completely sees. I knew it wasn’t finished but I felt it was at least on its way. My instinct was to change some of the shapes in the sky and add some small dark marks to make that area a little more interesting and also maybe to add more variety of red and darks into the bottom half of the painting. But I didn't listen to my instincts.Maybe this painting felt too revealing. Or maybe I just didn’t trust myself to know the ‘right’ way. Whatever the reason, I decided to ask for input on the CVP Facebook page. Lots of artists were kind enough to weigh in with suggestions and many of them contradicted each other. But that’s OK - ask 10 people and you will get 10 opinions … I was expecting that. After reading all the comments through a few times, I went back in to the painting to make the changes that made sense to me.Instead of being loose and having fun, I was thinking - applying logic. And I noticed that I wasn’t enjoying myself.It shows on my next pass at the painting.The energy and joy is gone. Of course it is! These are not my ideas or my preferences. They are other peoples’. My lack of confidence in my own vision led me to take the painting away from myself and it got lost.(As an aside, before CVP, I would have been thrilled with this painting.Now I want more from myself - and for myself. I find that exciting).Ironically, last night, Nick showed my painting on our weekly group call where he makes suggestions to reinforce our learning. He showed the version that I loved and suggested a few small marks in the sky – exactly what I had already decided for myself.I’m now bringing the piece back by painting again with intuition, but I learned a valuable lesson.I do not need to crowdsource my decision-making when it comes to my art. I simply need to listen to myself. Just like with those big life decisions, I already know the answers somewhere deep inside.