“If people only knew how hard I work to gain my mastery. It wouldn't seem so wonderful at all” -- Michelangelo

This week, I came across a post on Instagram that made me chuckle. I won't name the artist because I don't want to embarrass her but she paints idealised paintings of young women on large canvases. This is not art that I would ever buy, but everyone has their own preferences and I wish her well.

Normally I would simply move on by without another thought, but this time I stopped and read the post.

It featured a reel showing a little girl sloshing paint onto a large canvas. The painting was random of course (she's a little girl!) and that was the point. This artist was musing that she might have a go at abstract paintings since they were easier and less time-consuming and people seemed willing to pay for them.

My, how we laughed!

The post was, of course, meant to be a dig and it generated a huge response, much of it quite angry in tone. Having spent most of that day tussling with a composition that just would NOT come together, I do understand some of the anger. but this gets to something I've talked about before - criticism can only hurt us if we believe it to be true. It can only niggle at us if we think, somewhere deep inside, "maybe she's right?" 

In this case, I have not a shred of doubt. I know this person is wrong. And I know she would find that out as soon as she 'had a go' at her own abstract painting.

So there was no reason to be angry, but it did make me reflect on our sensitivity to criticism, and how more people could get into my headspace about it.

I often hear other artists say things like: "anyone who says they don't get hurt by negative social media comments is lying." 

Well, I don't get upset and I'm not lying, so what do I have that makes me immune?

Having thought about it, I see that I wasn't always this way. People used to be able to hurt me by criticising my artwork - but that was back when I didn't really believe in it myself. I knew deep down that it wasn't what I wanted to be making, so their comments really stung.

And I also see that I can be hurt by other types of mean comments. Someone on Youtube made a dig at my appearance the other day and that stung. It stung because I am acutely aware that I am getting older and their comment rang true with what I believe inside.

Aha - so this means the answer is within us! It means that it's what we believe that counts, NOT what the other person says.

This is so important, because it gives us back the power. We can forget about the naysayers, who will always be there, and focus on ourselves.

The reason I don't care about the criticism is that I already know if my painting is working or not. I have my own inner guidance system and it is very loud and clear. I'm perfectly capable of spotting a bad composition or a dodgy colour combination, and I'm very clear on what I want to convey and how I want to convey it.

When I was first starting out, none of this was true, hence my sensitivity to others' comments. I thought they might be right!

Now I don't know exactly where you are on your artist's journey ... you may be right at the very beginning when it feels scary to even show anyone, or very well-established. But there is a secret that everyone can use to fend off criticism and that is to trust your own knowledge and tastes. 

If you like your painting and someone criticises it, you can just shrug and say "that's interesting... I love it."

If you are unsure about your painting and someone criticises it, you can say "Hmmm, maybe you're right. I'm not sure about it myself."

And if you really know your painting is awful and someone criticises it, you can say "I know, right? It's not working at the moment."

When you think about responding in that way, what thoughts come to mind? What happens in your body? Does it feel possible, or does it feel too hard? 

Of course, the flip side of this is you have to react to compliments in exactly the same way. This is something I also do. 

If someone comments on a work-in-progress with 'oh that's perfect as it is, just leave it as it is," I don't hear them. I don't accept that compliment. It's not finished to me, so it's not finished.

Compliments are lovely of course and we'd all prefer to be liked and admired than not. But compliments can pull you off course just as much as insults. You can find yourself doing 'more of that' just to please someone else.

But if we guide ourselves, and stay true to ourselves, everyone else's opinion is just background noise. We can hear it, but we pay it no mind.