The Magic of Not Trying

Do you struggle to make the art that you really want to make?Do you suspect that there is more inside you?Do you sometimes get stuck because what you're making doesn't match what you'd like to make?If this is you, I want to ask you a question: how many hours do you spend playing with materials? How many times do you go into your studio or work space and think 'today I'm just going to experiment and try out a few ideas"?I struggled with this for so long. Deep down I suspected that I was capable of making interesting unique art, but I didn't want to go through the messy stages to get there. I didn't want to do it because I was too concerned with impressing .... impressing other people AND impressing myself.I didn't want to hear criticisms from strangers, or see the faces of friends and family who didn't like what I'd done - but I also didn't want to hear the critique in my own head - that running commentary of negativity that sounds nothing like what we'd say to ourselves.When I finished a painting, I couldn't wait to show it to people, like a little kid, and then bask in their praise!But this stopped me from moving my art forward because I wasn't willing to push into areas that weren't comfortable. I didn't know how to make the kind of work I secretly wanted to make. I'd try a few pieces - they would look awful, and I'd retreat again.How nuts is that? That we think we should just be able to do something without practice, without getting lots wrong, without trying out ideas??I finally got past this by setting myself a larger goal than to 'make one nice painting.' My larger goal became to see what I was capable of ... to develop my own voice. This freed me up for the need for instant results. I also stopped sharing everything I did - in fact I often wouldn't even let my husband see what I was doing.And by doing that, I created a pile of messy, unsuccessful work, but I also started to create things that excited me and pointed the way to what should come next. I started following ideas and seeing where they led (there was no stress because no-one was seeing what I did). My work developed and my confidence in it grew. And within a year I was at a place where I could show my work and genuinely not care if I got a negative comment.Once you have confidence in your own work, you couldn't care less what sallycinnamon66 on Facebook thinks about your painting.