Want to know the secret to a happy life?

"Whether you think you can, or you think you can't – you're right.” -- Henry Ford

This week I've been people-watching.

First, I watched two people handle two different negative situations. The first person (let's call her Beth) responded with honesty, kindness and maturity. She managed to diffuse a situation that could have quickly got out of hand. She created a win-win scenario where everyone felt better.

The second person (let's call him Adam) did the exact opposite. He became angry very quickly and stayed upset no matter what was said or done.

These were two very different situations, but I don't think that matters. If Adam had found himself in Beth's shoes, I think that issue would have escalated and become a disaster. And if Beth was dealing with Adam's problem. I think it would soon have been diffused.

In other words, I think these people live very different lives. I think Adam finds himself in constant battles, big and small. He believes that the world is out to get him - and so it is. And I think Beth lives a pretty good life. I think she believes in the basic decency of people and so that is what she experiences. 

The world gives us what we expect. But what does this have to do with art? 

I'm also watching people work their way through my Find Your Joy course. We're about halfway through now and we're working with a wonderful group of students. (I say 'we' because I have an amazing team who help me to teach this course - I couldn't do it without them). These students are working so hard to overcome the blocks and fears that have stopped them making their art up until now. They are being brave and taking risks and making amazing art as a result.

But some of them can't see it yet. They can't see the life and energy and excitement in their paintings. They only see the flaws.

This is not their fault - like Adam they have been programmed to be the way they are. They have been shaped by genetics or previous experiences or parental influence or the attitude of friends and family.

Week by week, we turn a few more of them into believers. Week by week, we chip away at their defences and their blocks, and when we do.... oh I can't even describe what happens! The feeling of watching someone step out of their self-imposed shell and into their real artist self? That feeling is beyond words.

Suddenly they drop the limiting beliefs and make a painting (or more than one!) that is honest and true and exciting.

It might be a bold abstract or a detailed portrait. It might be a semi-abstract still life or an ethereal seascape ... the type of art doesn't matter. What matters is that they are IN IT. We feel their presence. They are no longer hiding. They are no longer ashamed of who they are and what they love. And so they open up - and as soon as they do that, everything changes for them.

It's like magic.

I used to think it WAS magic. But now I know it's just the way the world works.

We get what we expect. 

If we believe we can do something - really believe it - we can. And if we believe we can't, we are also right. 

I find this an incredibly freeing thought. We literally make our own reality. 

This is a simple idea - but as we all know, in practice it is not easy to do. We have all sorts of reasons for the beliefs we have and many of them are very deep-seated. If we were raised to believe in ourselves, we probably will. But if we were raised to believe we had no talent, we'll probably accept that. 

I think journaling is an excellent way to get to the bottom of this and many people swear by meditation or yoga. Whatever tool you use, I think it's vital to identify the beliefs that are preventing us from true artistic expression. Once we know what they are, we can hold them up to the light and question them.

Was that primary school teacher really qualified to declare that you lacked any talent?

Was your mother right when she criticised everything you did?

Were the bullies at school correct when they deemed you 'stupid'?

Mostly, our limiting beliefs were instilled in us by people who were simply wrong. 

Isn't that nice to know? And this is what it means: we can start to shape our own set of beliefs and drop the ones that no longer serve us. And once we do that, we can start making the art we were born to make - the stuff no-one else can make. The stuff that will change our lives.