Why do artists paint themselves?
It’s a question I find myself coming back to, again and again, because I have made hundreds of self portraits over the years. Some are quick sketches, some are large paintings. None are made for anyone but me.
And of course, the idea of painting oneself is not new. Artists throughout history have been drawn to self-portraits for countless reasons. Some use them to study their technique or master their craft. Others explore identity, capturing themselves as they are or as they imagine themselves to be.
For me, it’s a little of both. I do like to practice different techniques or try out a variety of media, and my face is a handy object for practice. But these paintings are also about exploration. They’re about looking deeper, peeling back the layers, and understanding not just how I appear but how I feel.They are a way to mark moments in time. Each one carries a piece of me as I was—my mood, my energy, even my struggles. I have never enjoyed keeping a diary, but over the years, I’ve returned to this practice whenever I feel stuck, curious, or in need of grounding. It’s not just an act of creation; it’s an act of discovery.
I'm working on a new exploration, all about emotional expression and I fully expected to be making abstract paintings. But a few months in to the project, I seem to have returned to my own face.
Neither of these paintings feel right or finished to me, but that's OK. They are simply studies, made with no audience in mind except myself (and now you!)
This time, I'm experimenting with ways that I can disintegrate the features - and how far I can go before it's no longer a self-portrait.
In the past, I have experimented with limited media, strange colour palettes, using collage, using unusual tools, painting 'blind,' using the wrong hand and many other options. Some of my self portraits take hours and others take just a few minutes.
Once, I spent a whole year making a self portrait every single day - 365 versions of me - and I learned so much about drawing and about paint and about the value of repeating the same thing day after day.
In the end, I think these portraits are a combination of practice, documentation and exploration. That probably the same reason artists throughout history have made paintings of their own faces, and I love the idea of a practice that transcends culture, generations, gender and background. I like having my own small part in something that artists have always done and will always do.
I have heard from lots of artists who don't want to paint themselves - sometimes they say 'I just don't like to look at myself.' I get that - really I do. Most of us struggle with seeing ourselves age, and many of us avoid mirrors or having our photographs taken. But I think if you feel this way, there is even more value in this practice. I've long believed that art-making is about self-acceptance for many people - maybe self portraits are the ultimate form of self-acceptance?