I wasn't sure I was going to share this

If you’re like me, you think about other people a lot.

I mean A LOT.

What do they need from me? What do they secretly want but haven’t said out loud? How can I make them happy? How will they judge me if I do that thing? 

Mostly, this is people I love - but sometimes, it’s even people I’ve never even met! (Social media makes this worse, of course).

But lately, I’ve been shifting my mindset. This is a slow business - a bit like turning around a massive ship. And sometimes I stall in the water and have to restart again, but slowly, slowly, I am inching forward in a new direction.

I am doing the unthinkable and putting myself first.

(I feel an inner gasp at even writing that, which just shows how bad things had got). 

See, I noticed a few things:

1. Most of the people around me were generally putting themselves first

2. Therefore, I was getting very grumpy

3. Therefore, I was tired

4. Therefore, my creativity was suffering

As a result of 2, 3, and 4, no-one was getting the best of me. Especially not my art.

Let me pan out and look at this from a larger perspective (and then I promise we’ll get to you!)

I believe our art comes from somewhere outside ourselves. I believe that our job as artists is to simply open up as wide as we can, so that we can receive the inspiration that is always out there waiting for us. I believe when we talk about talent, we simply mean the ability to open up to inspiration.

To do, I think this we need to get out of our own way, and stop trying to control the outcomes of everything. But I also feel we need to give ourselves the time and space - we need to honour ourselves and our creativity. 

This means thinking about ourselves as important and worthy of love and attention. 

Now you might say to me “but my kids (or my ageing parents or my ailing spouse) need me.”  

And I would say “yes, but would they prefer a grumpy, tired, resentful you? Or one that is open, warm and relaxed?”

I think we all know the answer. But to be open, warm and relaxed, you have to be looking after yourself. You HAVE to be making yourself a priority. You have to be pulling down your own oxygen mask FIRST!

For many of us, this is unthinkable. And yet, learning to move that ship slowly around has been a life-changing for me. I see now how much my people-pleasing has hurt me. And I see how little space I have allowed myself to simply be.

I am changing all that. I have decided that my role as an artist and teacher is very important to me, and that if I want to do it exceptionally well, I need to bring all of me to the party. I need to honour my creativity, I need to take care of my health, and I need to put myself first. 

This means I can stop anticipating everyone else’s needs and worrying about everyone else’s problems - in my experience, they’re pretty good at doing that for themselves! (If you’re also a people-pleaser, ask yourself if your loved ones sacrifice themselves as much as you do).

For me this is about clearing space - in my mind and my life.

It means telling friends and family they can’t just ‘drop by’ when I’m painting.

It means choosing whether I want to do something, rather than making the decision based on how another person might feel.

It means being conscious and thoughtful about what I put in my body. (And about what I put in my brain - no more morning news for me!)

It means honouring my creative urges rather than pushing them down. 

And it means letting other people think what they think, or feel what they feel, without taking responsibility for it.

A few years ago, I would have called all this “selfish.” Now I see it as essential self-care AND as a service to everyone around me. Because when I fully honour myself and my creativity, when I nurture myself and my art, I can show up more fully for everyone else. They can receive the true, authentic, fully-realised Louise and not the tired, tetchy, wish-I-was-painting Louise.

You might have noticed that this is a more personal message than the ones I usually share, but I believe the personal is universal. Yes these are my struggles, but I feel certain you recognise them. Maybe by sharing, I can inspire you to think about yourself and your own creativity and where they sit on your priority list. Maybe I can help you find pockets of time for yourself. Maybe I can help you think about ways you can honour and nurture your own creative spark.

You were called to create. Don’t you want to find out just how far you can go with it?

That's it from me this week but I want to close with a question. What's one thing you can do this week to honour yourself and your creativity?